I wonder...

I wished I didn't have to stop driving tonight. For once I wish I'd stayed further. For once I wonder should I drive into the Expressway and just keep driving all the way.

I hate this feeling.

I hate this mentality.

I was taught not to have this mentality.

Victim mentality.

But sometimes I wonder what and where went wrong.

I don't know if I am a changed person. From 2 years ago. Or from 2 months ago. I really don't know. Changed or not, at least if you know it yourself it's a good thing, because you're aware of yourself. But I don't know. That makes me feel unaware. And lost. Looking back, there are lots of things I regretted doing and regretted not doing. How things could have evolved differently had decisions are made correctly, and words are meant to be. There are still, certain things, that perplexed me. Certain things I knew for sure I've did the right and good way, but still end up fucked. These are the few things that have kept my mind thinking all the time - what and where went wrong?

I knew what I did wrong. I knew what I didn't do right. But things I knew I did rightly, how come?

I am left to wonder...